Ipod hits the crapper

Growing up, my grandma had a toilet paper dispenser that when used, played the song “Stars and Stripes Forever”. Needless to say, I hated that thing. John Philip Sousa is probably the last thing I want to hear when I wake up at four in the morning with a stomach ache (not to mention waking everyone else and patriotically announcing my bm).

Melodic tp dispensers have come a long way since the 80’s. Meet, the toilet paper dispensing ipod dock. For 79.99 you get a four-speaker, fully functional toilet paper dispenser, and the respect of all your friends for having the coolest bathroom in town. I was sad to hear that they neglected to include the auto play feature that only plays tunes when unrolling (apparently this feature leads to an increase use/waste of toilet paper.) I will not be buying this product due to its immobility. However, If I were to buy it I would definitely add “Stars and Stripes Forever” to my ipod… for nostalgic reasons of course.